I was at this restaurant last night and this guy and I struck up a conversation. Turns out that he directs pornos. He gave me his card. I did some research and it looks like he is legit, as in, he will not Buffalo Bill me/he has put out actual movies with recognizable names.

It's something I think I could be good at. Plus, I don't give a shit if anyone close to me knows etc....

He wants me to call him by Tuesday. He will fly me out to L.A. for some screen tests etc.

I am pretty fired up. I hope I don't have to fuck an ugly skank.

Funny thing is, some of you might actually be stroking it one day to a scene with RiffRaff and not even know it.

Creepy.

Wear a condom!

Is there a market for Banana Tit porn? Will you do ATM?

He said that it can be either/or. The tests/contracts dictate that.



I would stick my assdick into a girls mouth. I can't wait to do it.

Did you meet one of the Bang Bros?

Close.

And dude, no pun intended, but I need to gag order this one.

Will it be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttfuck?"

Well Bang Bros is Miami. LA, I'm guessing Reality Kings, or Brazzers. Maybe Naughty America.

Awesome, man.

Here's hoping that you one day attain a John Holmes level of porno-success.

I'll tell you why you should always wear one even though they get tested for AIDS. Let's say you go out on Saturday night and fuck and you get AIDS, then on Monday you go get your AIDS test. It will still show up negative because your blood hasn't seroconverted yet, but you are also contagious at this point. So you get your clean AIDS test go to work on Tuesday and infect 20 people.

Gnarly stuff.

Wear a condom! This public message is for all NBers-Riffy just gave me a chance to say it.

Riffy doing gay porn!

He's going to fly you out there and the "screentest" will be how well you fellate him.

You have to use Raff in your porn name. Or Riff.

Dick Riff
Rick Raff
Dick Raff
Riff Richards

I just spoke with him. I'm in. I'm ridiculously nervous/excited. He said to expect a call confirming the flight.

Wow.

God, I hope your female 'cause this is way gay.

Don't worry, asssuming you're a guy (the jury is still out) and there is any truth to this story (ditto) you will either choke and get limp dick under all the pressure on the set and be laughed out of your porn career or they will do a bait & switch on you and have you do a gay scene and you will excel.

Either way, best of luck to you.

I told Rachel that i'd film her blowing me in the back seat

SHE NEVER FORGETS

Coming soon!

RiffRaff in: Chicks With Dicks 8!

"Riffin' With A BBW" ... make sure to wave your hands if you're having trouble breathing!

Been there, done that..it's probably this company in Arlington i know of.

I'm starting to think Riff and Brixx are the same

Well they both bang multiple chicks at once every other night....

BRIXX BRAXX

those days r over,bra!

So this porn producer thinks you have fine career ahead of you as a fluffer?

Seems like a generous proposition, the screen test use to be about $45 dollars, at your expense - things have probably changed with the digital age - the producer must have something in mind for you if he is going to fly you out to the Valley on his dime. Good luck, meet the girl of your dreams. It is perfectly okay if you change your mind but don't be a no show. Keep in mind once you are out there and on scene it might be harder for you to decline an offer with added benefits. When you go to California just think of yourself going to another country, in a sense you are.

I am actually pretty fired up. I spoke with him earlier today and was assured that this will be a completely free-of-charge thing. I fly out Thursday and am going to an open bar thing that night. I keep thinking how tired I will be, but also how amped I wil be will when I walk through the bar and realize that one of these girls will be backing into me etc. etc.

An absolutely fucked up, one in a million situation coming up...

I see your three laugh emoticons...

and raise you four...

that took some effort....

You worked hard on this. Lots of work.

You said "hard on".....

Nice... someone will drop something in your drink and you'll find yourself waking up at LAX 2 days later hungover with lockjaw, a tampoon in your ass and 6 hours of footage. Congratulations.

Milk 2: Rough Raff

bra, with 3 big time porn co.s here in Boston I highly doubt he'd fly you out to Silicon Vally for your first time, your not exactly PEter North. And even if you were..you'd bee headed to MIAMI to intern for MEATHOLES!

San Fernando Valley

Pretending this is real, you realize that those dudes abuse viagra and end up with erectile disfunction issues along with depression and other good stuff. Not exactly a fantasy lifestyle.

i think yr odds of gettign AIDS is atually much higher than that

riff is going to have hairy man balls bouncing off his chin