Let's hear em. Guys, Girls, remorseful one night stands, etc. It's Friday afternoon and I'm bored.

Homeless guy. I tripped over him. That's how it all started.

A young woman once asked me "do you fuck as good as you dance?"

I said; "Depends on who I'm dancing with"

True story.

I thought you were female for some reason...or maybe you are a lesbian?

Anyways, what a Michael Douglas-like scenario! awesome.

I'm sitting at the bar, girl sits next to me and puts her bag down, I say "Dolce and Gabbana, nice" She says "you wanna have sex?". True story.

One night in college I sat on my stoop bugging the hell out on mushrooms at about 11pm. An attractive neighbor was walking home and said hello. I'm not sure how I pulled it off but in a few minutes we were upstairs in her room and I was having some real space mountain sex.

The van smelled like pee and there were no kittens.

I tell a girl she sounds really good singing that 4 non blondes at karoake. I start to make small talk. She says "Do we really have to do this? Is your apartment near here?"

True story.

I dressed up as a lady and went out with my wife's Dolce and Gabanna bag.

I sent an email.


















She posted n00dz.

I'm leaving The Rocket in Providence one night at closing and some RISD chick asked if I wanted to come over and drink Rumplemintz and Yoohoo at her place.

When I was in London some dude yelled "Show me your minge!" and I yelled "fuck you" but I didn't know what he was talking about until I went home and looked it up.

If only I had showed him my minge...

you have nice boobs.

Only in Quincy.

Oh another time I was hammered at a bar and just walked up to a girl I kinda knew, honked her boob and said, "Give me a boner." We started making out and she shoved her hand down my pants. Then we had to stop because she had to go throw up.

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Taunton actually.

Not about me but I will roll one at you. Fresh from the bakery.

Last night at the bar it was real busy. We had a Northeastern band playing down stairs and I had half of the hospital staff on my floor. The doorman comes in and nervously askes me for a Jack. I have made this kid drinks before and he didn't care one bit.

"Dude what's up".
"This chick who came in is all over me. Keeps coming out for butts and says she can't wait for my shift to end because she is going to fucking rape me"
"Thats awesome. Point her out"
"She is downstairs."

About an hour later it is dying down but I am busy and forget what he told me. The manager comes down the stairs from the 3rd floor (which was closed but we go up there to use the can which is cleaner and empty) with pie eyes and a chesire cat grin. He comes over and tells me "some guy is right on the floor up there drilling this broad like he hates her".

I remember the conversation from earlier.

Good Times.

Who was the dude who posted the story about hooking up with the cougar/milf in Weymouth?

met a girl on the T we got off at the harvard ave stop. I chatted her up and fucked her 20 minutes later.

I met another girl on the red line o the way home from school. about 30 minutes later I was banging her from behind with a finger in her butt.

true story.

Hampton Beach ... like 2 am ... girl drives past and I wave ... a few minutes later I'm up to my nuts in guts

I banged my R.A. the day after I moved into the dorms my freshman year.

One time I dressed up like a girl and went to The Mask with some dude.

I think that was RiffRaff

A friend of mine's sister became single around the same time I did. She lives in a different part of Brooklyn so I rarely see her, but I ran into her one night at the Brooklyn Brewery (which, btw, is one of the worst places on earth) and had the following conversation.

me: hey, what are you doing here?
girl: hey, what are we doing here?
Me: um...

She dragged me out of there so fast that half way through the cab ride I realized I was still holding my pint glass. Fun night.

My buddy met a girl in at bar in Providence. She says "Hi my name's Katrina, like the hurricane". An hour of small talk later he's at her apartment giving the butt sex while her brother is in the next room.

I took this one girl home from the bar, had sex and then got involved with the after hours party going on in my house. Over in the upstairs living room, one of my roommates brought home a stripper and she was doing a dance for us. The girl I brought home was a complete fucking nutcase. She told the stripper to get away from me and then a little fight happened she ended up throwing plates and and ashtrays at the stripper. We videotaped the whole thing, it was awesome.

I was 28.

She was 20.

We met at Jury Duty.

She REALLY liked to fuck. Anywhere. At my office. At the Golf course (on a green). In cars. lots of cars.

One time - we went to a BBQ at her Brother's place, with a bunch of his college friends. Big Yard Party.

His friends pointed out to her brother the rather visible hand print on the back window of my shitty 91 Honda Civic, and the Trojan wrapper on the rear dash/speaker grille.

Heh. He didn't like me too much after that.

I think you're right...

One halloween, I banged a chick dressed like Smurfette in the bathroom at Ralph's.

how is this not on youtube?

Not sure but I have a similar story.


My and two friend's are at the Sports Depot in Weymouth ... think its Cliffhangers or something now. We're in our early 20's. Anyhoo it's kind of dead in there except for this one chick in her 40's drinking alone. My buddies start talking her up.

I'm living with my girlfriend (now my wife) at the time so I'm off playing Golden Tee or whatever. My girlfriend was out of town for the weekend ... my buddy comes up and says "This chick wants to fuck ... let us use your place". I really don't want to but I don't want to cock block either. "Sure" I say.

So we all head back to my shitty one bedroom apartment. This chick takes the two dudes into the bedroom and proceeds to nail them both ... on my bed. About 30 minutes later my friends come out of the room and say "Later".

They take off and leave this chick in my bed. I had to drive her home but drop her at the end of her street so her husband didn't see me dropping her off.

You need to listen to more Macc Lads records.

I'm trying to get a copy from my old roommate. I saw him at the common ground a few months back and he said he still has it.

Katrina Hennigan? HAHAHAHHA. I went to middle school with her. Fivehead and stupid bangs? She now lives with her Bro in Providence.

We were bffl up until about 10th grade after she fucked about 3 of my boyfriends.

like he never banged her.

Holy shit, that's her. She's a nutcase, and so is her brother.

Tell me about it. We did acid once together in middle school and that dumb cunt pushed me down a flight of stairs. NO LIE.

SHE IS INSANE!

I was at a Street Dogs show one December, at the Avalon. I had my best scally on. A man standing behind me was eying me all night, in between sets he approached me and tapped me on the shoulder, he said "Hey bra, it's me Dan..." He had the most gentle touch. Later that night I met another guy from one of the opening bands...his name was Dan too. He took me back stage and asked me about skiing...oh what a night.

high school, actually.

She sounds aces to me.

well she was greek... I wouldn't rule it out.

Dookie banged his wife at the top of the Pru.

Did he end up blowing you ..?

I hooked up with that guy's cousin.

He was hott. Kinda dumb, but hott.