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Ron's Brother
I had purchased a ham sandwich at the airport. When I purchased the sandwich I had already filled out the form for coming into the USA "do you have anything to declare" so I forgot to put it down on the list for "meats"

Anyways, I didn't write down I had a half of a ham sandwich. Security was pissed at me. They routed me in an opposite direction from everyone else and then proceeded to ask me about 100 questions concerning the sandwich.. where I bought it, how much I paid, had I consumed any of it, was I planning on using it as a gift, did I see the sandwich being made, did I put any condiments on it, How long had the sandwich been out of my sight, did I own a farm, how many total slices of ham where there, Do I like gladiator movies?

I am glad to see we are protecting our borders from a slice of ham.
Bluestreak
I hope your sandwich was peppered with Ebola.
tarawhite
Security is prepared to respond to any copies of the 'Best of Senator Whatley' CD being brought into the good old USA.
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(Bluestreak @ Sep 21 2007, 03:32 PM) *
I hope your sandwich was peppered with Ebola.


I hope you turn into a ugly guy with a red face and zits all over it... OH WAIT... my wish came true,
T- RAV
you never fail to be unfunny
Billy Chapel
You're mildly retarded, aren't you...
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(Billy Chapel @ Sep 21 2007, 03:41 PM) *
You're mildly retarded, aren't you...


No, I actually have a pretty high IQ. Believe it or not I scored over 1300 on my SATs. 700+ in math and 600+ in verbal. I also have three college degrees and am working on my MBA.
John D
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:31 PM) *

I had purchased a ham sandwich at the airport. When I purchased the sandwich I had already filled out the form for coming into the USA "do you have anything to declare" so I forgot to put it down on the list for "meats"

Anyways, I didn't write down I had a half of a ham sandwich. Security was pissed at me. They routed me in an opposite direction from everyone else and then proceeded to ask me about 100 questions concerning the sandwich.. where I bought it, how much I paid, had I consumed any of it, was I planning on using it as a gift, did I see the sandwich being made, did I put any condiments on it, How long had the sandwich been out of my sight, did I own a farm, how many total slices of ham where there, Do I like gladiator movies?

I am glad to see we are protecting our borders from a slice of ham.

You should thank them for protecting the innocent ham sandwiches of America from God-knows-what-filthy-microbes were on that foreign sandwich.

You could have been the zero point...
drumdad
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:44 PM) *


No, I actually have a pretty high IQ. Believe it or not I scored over 1300 on my SATs. 700+ in math and 600+ in verbal. I also have three college degrees and am working on my MBA.


Yet you continue to put yourself in the position of being a tool...

Ron's Brother
QUOTE(drumdad @ Sep 21 2007, 03:45 PM) *


Yet you continue to put yourself in the position of being a tool...



Well, I most likely am a tool. Good catch.... I'll let you in on a secret. Every single person who posts here is a tool. All of them, me.. you... everyone.
Lollipop
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:44 PM) *

No, I actually have a pretty high IQ. Believe it or not I scored over 1300 on my SATs. 700+ in math and 600+ in verbal. I also have three college degrees and am working on my MBA.

Are any of these degrees from MIT per chance? If this marriage thing doesn't work out, i know a cute girl named Star...
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(Lollipop @ Sep 21 2007, 03:51 PM) *

Are any of these degrees from MIT per chance? If this marriage thing doesn't work out, i know a cute girl named Star...


I don't think her and I would be a good match, I didn't tape the ham sandwich to my shirt.
Danny Vermin
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:44 PM) *

No, I actually have a pretty high IQ. Believe it or not I scored over 1300 on my SATs. 700+ in math and 600+ in verbal. I also have three college degrees and am working on my MBA.

But you're a complete social nitwit who can't stop talking about being married because you're still amazed that a girl stuck around you this long.
Mister Shhh
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:31 PM) *

I had purchased a ham sandwich at the airport. When I purchased the sandwich I had already filled out the form for coming into the USA "do you have anything to declare" so I forgot to put it down on the list for "meats"

Anyways, I didn't write down I had a half of a ham sandwich. Security was pissed at me. They routed me in an opposite direction from everyone else and then proceeded to ask me about 100 questions concerning the sandwich.. where I bought it, how much I paid, had I consumed any of it, was I planning on using it as a gift, did I see the sandwich being made, did I put any condiments on it, How long had the sandwich been out of my sight, did I own a farm, how many total slices of ham where there, Do I like gladiator movies?

I am glad to see we are protecting our borders from a slice of ham.


You'll never learn.

ƒ(x)
There is no place to buy a ham sandwich at Logan before you go through customs and you typically don't get your customs paper until you're on the plane.
JodyThePig
Security probably mistook it for a steakbomb.

Simple misunderstanding.
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(ƒ(x) @ Sep 21 2007, 03:57 PM) *
There is no place to buy a ham sandwich at Logan before you go through customs and you typically don't get your customs paper until you're on the plane.


This was not at logan(not that it matters);

I got the sheet at the counter when I checked in at saint martin, I bought a sandwitch in the airport, got on the plane and flew to San Juan (about a 20 minute flight). San Juan is where I "entered" the USA.
Flipper
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:53 PM) *

I don't think her and I would be a good match, I didn't tape the ham sandwich to my shirt.


Honestly, you are a complete fucking idiot.
John D
QUOTE(JodyThePig @ Sep 21 2007, 03:59 PM) *

Security probably mistook it for a steakbomb.


(rimshot)
MikeG
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:44 PM) *

No, I actually have a pretty high IQ. Believe it or not I scored over 1300 on my SATs. 700+ in math and 600+ in verbal. I also have three college degrees and am working on my MBA.



George W. Bush has an MBA.

Ron's brother is working on an MBA.

You be the judge.


(just funnin' ya, buddy)
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(MikeG @ Sep 21 2007, 04:33 PM) *



George W. Bush has an MBA.

Ron's brother is working on an MBA.

You be the judge.


(just funnin' ya, buddy)


I've never done coke...
MikeG
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:04 PM) *

I bought a sandwitch in the airport


IPB Image
khan
where was your wife when you were being detained for 20 minutes? a lot can happen in 20 minutes
Mark VI
QUOTE(Bluestreak @ Sep 21 2007, 03:32 PM) *

I hope your sandwich was peppered with Ebola.

laughing.gif oh shit! laughing.gif
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 04:38 PM) *

where was your wife when you were being detained for 20 minutes? a lot can happen in 20 minutes


and you'd be amazed at what people will do for even less than a half a ham sandwich
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 04:38 PM) *

where was your wife when you were being detained for 20 minutes? a lot can happen in 20 minutes


and you'd be amazed at what people will do for even less than a half a ham sandwich
MikeG
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 04:38 PM) *

where was your wife when you were being detained for 20 minutes? a lot can happen in 20 minutes


Post of the day.
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 04:38 PM) *
where was your wife when you were being detained for 20 minutes? a lot can happen in 20 minutes


She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.
khan
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:48 PM) *

She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.


I played pool with her once at some place on Daniel Webster Highway.
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:48 PM) *

She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.


THAT is funny.

you might be the funniest poster here. ignore your detractors, in most cases their sense of humor doesn't leave Three Stooges territory.
Danny Vermin
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:48 PM) *

She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.

probably because they didn't believe that a fucking dork like you could ever ever get a date.
khan
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:48 PM) *

She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.


and how the fuck does being married or not play into you carrying a ham sandwich?
DJKyttyn
QUOTE(JodyThePig @ Sep 21 2007, 03:59 PM) *

Security probably mistook it for a steakbomb.

Simple misunderstanding.

hoof...

and people think ron's brother isn't funny?

terrible! rolleyes.gif
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(Danny Vermin @ Sep 21 2007, 04:51 PM) *

probably because they didn't believe that a fucking dork like you could ever ever get a date.


i believe he's implying that in his post. his humor is very dry, which causes people to mistake him for a retard
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 04:53 PM) *


and how the fuck does being married or not play into you carrying a ham sandwich?


Because you are suppose to fill out a form.. one per family. or one per person. We did the opposite of what they were expecting.
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 04:53 PM) *

and how the fuck does being married or not play into you carrying a ham sandwich?


in tribal cultures wives are sometimes purchased from faraway places. maybe a nice cow or a lovely camel. his wife signed on for a half a ham sandwich
Bluestreak
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:55 PM) *

We did the opposite of what they were expecting.

Soooo many options. Too many jokes.
khan
QUOTE(Brian McCaffrey @ Sep 21 2007, 04:55 PM) *

in tribal cultures wives are sometimes purchased from faraway places. maybe a nice cow or a lovely camel. his wife signed on for a half a ham sandwich


So he took his wife to Ethiopia for their honeymoon?
Ron's Brother
QUOTE(Bluestreak @ Sep 21 2007, 04:56 PM) *

Soooo many options. Too many jokes.



if you have not noticed all my statements are left perfectly for jokes to be made without them having to be said. Only dumb people think they are smart by pointing out the humor like they were the only ones who saw it. Others already have grasped the humor at hand.
Bluestreak
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 05:01 PM) *

if you have not noticed all my statements are left perfectly for jokes to be made without them having to be said. Only dumb people think they are smart by pointing out the humor like they were the only ones who saw it. Others already have grasped the humor at hand.

You should get raped with a bottlerocket.
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 05:00 PM) *

So he took his wife to Ethiopia for their honeymoon?


maybe he was returning to the ancestral hunting grounds with his new prize and airport security was unable to bridge the cultural divide
khan
IPB Image
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(khan @ Sep 21 2007, 05:12 PM) *

IPB Image


some images need no caption
Christóbal
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:31 PM) *

I had purchased a ham sandwich at the airport. When I purchased the sandwich I had already filled out the form for coming into the USA "do you have anything to declare" so I forgot to put it down on the list for "meats"

Anyways, I didn't write down I had a half of a ham sandwich. Security was pissed at me. They routed me in an opposite direction from everyone else and then proceeded to ask me about 100 questions concerning the sandwich.. where I bought it, how much I paid, had I consumed any of it, was I planning on using it as a gift, did I see the sandwich being made, did I put any condiments on it, How long had the sandwich been out of my sight, did I own a farm, how many total slices of ham where there, Do I like gladiator movies?

I am glad to see we are protecting our borders from a slice of ham.

Same thing happened to me coming home from France, only it was a half eaten package of potato chips and this was 1998. The US frowns upon people importing undeclared food & plants.
Quill
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:53 PM) *

I don't think her and I would be a good match, I didn't tape the ham sandwich to my shirt.


QUOTE(Flipper @ Sep 21 2007, 04:06 PM) *

Honestly, you are a complete fucking idiot.


Dude! Great Glenn Close impersonation!
FrankD
QUOTE(tarawhite @ Sep 21 2007, 03:34 PM) *

Security is prepared to respond to any copies of the 'Best of Senator Whatley' CD being brought into the good old USA.


CAVITY SEARCH!
Brian McCaffrey
QUOTE(Christóbal @ Sep 21 2007, 05:34 PM) *

Same thing happened to me coming home from France, only it was a half eaten package of potato chips and this was 1998. The US frowns upon people importing undeclared food & plants.


there is a conspiracy against French food.

if we find out what real food tastes like we might defect to Cuba
Tantra, Goddess of Flight
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 03:31 PM) *

I had purchased a ham sandwich at the airport. When I purchased the sandwich I had already filled out the form for coming into the USA "do you have anything to declare" so I forgot to put it down on the list for "meats"

Anyways, I didn't write down I had a half of a ham sandwich. Security was pissed at me. They routed me in an opposite direction from everyone else and then proceeded to ask me about 100 questions concerning the sandwich.. where I bought it, how much I paid, had I consumed any of it, was I planning on using it as a gift, did I see the sandwich being made, did I put any condiments on it, How long had the sandwich been out of my sight, did I own a farm, how many total slices of ham where there, Do I like gladiator movies?

I am glad to see we are protecting our borders from a slice of ham.

How did they ever find out about a ham sandwich? I work with customs every day and the only way you can be bagged for this, really, is to be chomping on it in line, unless they were rummaging through your stuff for other reasons.

Also, what airport was it? It makes a difference. Most of the time, they would just make you throw it out.
Tantra, Goddess of Flight
QUOTE(Ron's Brother @ Sep 21 2007, 04:48 PM) *

She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.

Look, I, as the airline check-in agent never would have let your wife check in if her passport didn't match the ticket. I realize some women are over-the-top giddy about using their new last name, but geez, book the freakin' ticket in the name of the ID. This was stupid on both your part and the airline check-in agent's part. How you actually managed to take the outbound flight is beyond me. I actually have denied boarding to women whose names didn't match the ID. And a photocopy of the marriage certificate won't cut it. It doesn't matter if it's for a honeymoon, post-divorce, whatever. The airlines can be fined ten grand for each infraction and then it's my ass as the check in agent. Of course they were going to harass you. You deserved to be in secondary inspection for half a day. Be thankful it was only 20 minutes. They probably dismissed you both as morons.
Tantra, Goddess of Flight
QUOTE(JodyThePig @ Sep 21 2007, 03:59 PM) *

Security probably mistook it for a steakbomb.

Simple misunderstanding.

Post of the day!
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