I had purchased a ham sandwich at the airport. When I purchased the sandwich I had already filled out the form for coming into the USA "do you have anything to declare" so I forgot to put it down on the list for "meats"

Anyways, I didn't write down I had a half of a ham sandwich. Security was pissed at me. They routed me in an opposite direction from everyone else and then proceeded to ask me about 100 questions concerning the sandwich.. where I bought it, how much I paid, had I consumed any of it, was I planning on using it as a gift, did I see the sandwich being made, did I put any condiments on it, How long had the sandwich been out of my sight, did I own a farm, how many total slices of ham where there, Do I like gladiator movies?

I am glad to see we are protecting our borders from a slice of ham.

I hope your sandwich was peppered with Ebola.

Security is prepared to respond to any copies of the 'Best of Senator Whatley' CD being brought into the good old USA.

I hope you turn into a ugly guy with a red face and zits all over it... OH WAIT... my wish came true,

you never fail to be unfunny

You're mildly retarded, aren't you...

No, I actually have a pretty high IQ. Believe it or not I scored over 1300 on my SATs. 700+ in math and 600+ in verbal. I also have three college degrees and am working on my MBA.

You should thank them for protecting the innocent ham sandwiches of America from God-knows-what-filthy-microbes were on that foreign sandwich.

You could have been the zero point...

Yet you continue to put yourself in the position of being a tool...

Well, I most likely am a tool. Good catch.... I'll let you in on a secret. Every single person who posts here is a tool. All of them, me.. you... everyone.

Are any of these degrees from MIT per chance? If this marriage thing doesn't work out, i know a cute girl named Star...

I don't think her and I would be a good match, I didn't tape the ham sandwich to my shirt.

But you're a complete social nitwit who can't stop talking about being married because you're still amazed that a girl stuck around you this long.

You'll never learn.

There is no place to buy a ham sandwich at Logan before you go through customs and you typically don't get your customs paper until you're on the plane.

Security probably mistook it for a steakbomb.

Simple misunderstanding.

This was not at logan(not that it matters);

I got the sheet at the counter when I checked in at saint martin, I bought a sandwitch in the airport, got on the plane and flew to San Juan (about a 20 minute flight). San Juan is where I "entered" the USA.

Honestly, you are a complete fucking idiot.

(rimshot)

George W. Bush has an MBA.

Ron's brother is working on an MBA.

You be the judge.


(just funnin' ya, buddy)

I've never done coke...

where was your wife when you were being detained for 20 minutes? a lot can happen in 20 minutes

oh shit!

and you'd be amazed at what people will do for even less than a half a ham sandwich

and you'd be amazed at what people will do for even less than a half a ham sandwich

Post of the day.

She was standing next to me. and that caused more problems. Her ID still had her maiden name and we did not have our marriage cert with us so they were having issues with me saying we were married.

I played pool with her once at some place on Daniel Webster Highway.

THAT is funny.

you might be the funniest poster here. ignore your detractors, in most cases their sense of humor doesn't leave Three Stooges territory.

probably because they didn't believe that a fucking dork like you could ever ever get a date.

and how the fuck does being married or not play into you carrying a ham sandwich?

hoof...

and people think ron's brother isn't funny?

terrible!

i believe he's implying that in his post. his humor is very dry, which causes people to mistake him for a retard

Because you are suppose to fill out a form.. one per family. or one per person. We did the opposite of what they were expecting.

in tribal cultures wives are sometimes purchased from faraway places. maybe a nice cow or a lovely camel. his wife signed on for a half a ham sandwich

Soooo many options. Too many jokes.

So he took his wife to Ethiopia for their honeymoon?

if you have not noticed all my statements are left perfectly for jokes to be made without them having to be said. Only dumb people think they are smart by pointing out the humor like they were the only ones who saw it. Others already have grasped the humor at hand.

You should get raped with a bottlerocket.

maybe he was returning to the ancestral hunting grounds with his new prize and airport security was unable to bridge the cultural divide

some images need no caption

Same thing happened to me coming home from France, only it was a half eaten package of potato chips and this was 1998. The US frowns upon people importing undeclared food & plants.

Dude! Great Glenn Close impersonation!

CAVITY SEARCH!

there is a conspiracy against French food.

if we find out what real food tastes like we might defect to Cuba

How did they ever find out about a ham sandwich? I work with customs every day and the only way you can be bagged for this, really, is to be chomping on it in line, unless they were rummaging through your stuff for other reasons.

Also, what airport was it? It makes a difference. Most of the time, they would just make you throw it out.

Look, I, as the airline check-in agent never would have let your wife check in if her passport didn't match the ticket. I realize some women are over-the-top giddy about using their new last name, but geez, book the freakin' ticket in the name of the ID. This was stupid on both your part and the airline check-in agent's part. How you actually managed to take the outbound flight is beyond me. I actually have denied boarding to women whose names didn't match the ID. And a photocopy of the marriage certificate won't cut it. It doesn't matter if it's for a honeymoon, post-divorce, whatever. The airlines can be fined ten grand for each infraction and then it's my ass as the check in agent. Of course they were going to harass you. You deserved to be in secondary inspection for half a day. Be thankful it was only 20 minutes. They probably dismissed you both as morons.

Post of the day!