QUOTE(coughlin @ Sep 23 2007, 08:02 AM)
frank, please lick me for a number of reasons.
no, i've never had counseling, and you know me better than to lie about anything.
not afraid of anything, cupcake.
as to your summary, i can knock whatever i want --- do i need to eat dogshit to make sure it ain't my thing?
i said i wasn't making a blanket statement and meant it... too complicated?
and by friends, i meant those on both sides of the couch, and there have been plenty.
i would never discourage anyone who benefits (or even just thinks they do) from whatever they wanna spend their (or whoever's) money on, and i'm glad your stuff worked for ya, and yeah, i definitely helped some people & am proud of it.
perhaps my 2nd-hand experience is inordinately skewed or whatever, but it's real.
one problem is that too many people settle for someone they're not happy with (you seem the same shit out here w/people and their mechanics), and it ends up being just another thing to add to the worry-list that never actually gets deal with because they figure, "well, this person's a professional, they know what i need better than i do."
many would have you think that (and some would be right), but then we get into a whole self-esteem thing and blah-blah, but please do lick me in the meantime.
Just as with any profession, just because they have a degree on the wall, does not mean they know what they are doing - well they should technically, but it doesn't mean they excel at it, or even do it semi well.
I've had the same General Practitioner for 15 years and since I have moved further and further away from my hometown, I still drive an hour to see him when I need to. He fits me in THAT DAY if i'm sick, he has always found the solution to any problems i've had - Some were even quite serious (and i'm not talking solved by taking antibiotics type) His office staff is incredible and he remembers EVERYTHING of my past medical history - I dont have to see some stupid nurse practitioner I see him. He is a rarity. No doubt because I hear HORROR stories from people who don't even get a 1/10 of the service and satisfaction I do with this guy. Not only does he take care of me far above and beyond any other doctor i've seen - he's cultured, interesting and a little geeky (gotta love it) If its not where he's last traveled, its about an art gallery he's attended, museum, movie he's seen (usually the less than main stream style), books he's read and we've even discussed the Red Sox on Occassion - he's got a great bedside manner is what i'm trying to say.
However other physicians - I had been put on steriods for a serious asthma attack and it blew out my patella. The first ortho I went to, did an XRAY thats it..... Said oh you have some deterioration and some minor onset of arthritis in your knees get a cane it will only get worse. OK - I left that office bawling my eyes out at 30 years old thinking OMG i'm going to be a cripple in 5 years. Well you know what - I said fuck that and went and got a second and third opinion. Thankfully I did because the next two physicians put me into physical therapy and on anti inflamatories. Grantid - they aren't 100 percent but they rarely hurt me anymore - I can hike, bike - I just did the 20 mile walk for hunger!! I've lost a lot of weight and that has improved them as well. I know as I continue on the weight loss path they will get better and better. But had I listened to the first asshole I'd have probably done more damage.
The exact same thing holds true with therapists - either you click with one or you don't. Either you feel one is helping you or they are not. You can pretty much tell within the first few sessions. And, as I said earlier, A Psychologist, Psychiatrist, LICSW is there to be a biased person to listen and GUIDE YOU keyword "YOU" to figure out your own problems. If they are bringing down your self esteem you need to get out and quick and consider filing a formal complaint. I did with the Jackass I was seeing years ago. I went through quite a few before I found one that was educated in my experiences and could empathize and confirm any doubts or confusion I had. If someone isn't familiar with your type of issues/background how can they help you? Thats like asking a guy who changes oil at Jiffy Lube to put a new engine in my Volkswagon. Its like finding a good hairdresser, a clothing store where you like the way the clothes fit you, the perfect brand of shoes that seem made for you - even down to the right gas station you might frequent (ok - mine is due to not only friendliness of the workers but the cute Brazilian guy that works certain nights - sue me)
Its a customer service based field its a win or lose but if you lose pick up and keep on trying. If someoene stays with the wrong therapist and knows they are not helping or something just doesn't feel right - they aren't looking to become a healthier individual in my opinion - they are looking for excuses to continue to be a victim or complain or feel sorry for themselves.
I'm done with my public service announcement