5 Year Old Beat Down Options

[fil]

A friend of mine showed me a thread on another board that posed this question:

How many 5 year-olds could you take in a fight at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.


Okay people.....whadaya got?

[Mark VI]

i am so going to move to canada now.

[fil]

There are 5 year olds there too......you can't escape them.

[Mark VI]

not knowing the size of a 5 year old these days. i will say five, but i get to wear my steel toed docs.

This post has been edited by Mark VI: Mar 28 2005, 08:53 AM

[FiTzY]

Ok, I'll say I could take about 1,000 5yr olds. It'd proabably take me that long to get pooped and fall on my head.

The question is still ridiculous. I'm as bored as you.

[fil]

96% of the questions/polls on this board are ridiculous......

I think I could only really take on 50....eventually the sheer weight they would overpower me.....on would land a good shot below the belt and I would be done.

[FiTzY]

96% of the questions/polls on this board are ridiculous......

I think I could only really take on 50....eventually the sheer weight they would overpower me.....on would land a good shot below the belt and I would be done.

Pussy.

[The Sleepwalker]

Just offer to take them out for ice cream if they pretend to be knocked out.

[FiTzY]

After further considering this, I agree. A five year old could punch you in the package and take you out fairly easily. You are not a pussy, my friend.

[hobot]

After further considering this, I agree. A five year old could punch you in the package and take you out fairly easily. You are not a pussy, my friend.

- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

With the package protected as such, I think I could take at least 80 of them. I don't really have any hair for them to pull, and a single punch to a 5 year old will knock him or her out no problem.

[FiTzY]

After further considering this, I agree. A five year old could punch you in the package and take you out fairly easily. You are not a pussy, my friend.

- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

With the package protected as such, I think I could take at least 80 of them. I don't really have any hair for them to pull, and a single punch to a 5 year old will knock him or her out no problem.

You know, I need to read more carefully.

[fil]

yes but I think a good whack to even a cup protected set would stun you enough for others to over power you......80 is reasonable though......I do have longer hair and I see your point.....

[The Nuge]

Amateurs.

[Slim]

Anyone see City of God? If the situation involves 5 year olds living in the slums of Rio, it'd only take a few to take you down.

[FiTzY]

Anyone see City of God? If the situation involves 5 year olds living in the slums of Rio, it'd only take a few to take you down.

Dude, that movie was sick....even with subtitles.

[JVK]

Funny ya'll should mention this. Here's a local rock "toughguy" getting his ass kicked by a 5 year old.

[hobot]

yes but I think a good whack to even a cup protected set would stun you enough for others to over power you......80 is reasonable though......I do have longer hair and I see your point.....

I've taken slapshots to the cup before and yeah, they hurt like fuck, but even then I still had the presence of mind to try and find the puck (or hard plastic street hockey ball normally) and keep it out of the goal. I don't think a 5 year old could hit me hard enough to even cause a second thought.

Your long hair is going to have to go before we try this. Where the hell are we going to get this many 5 year olds? I mean, if we could 5 year old from some other country, say we give a bunch of Mexican families with five year olds full citizenship if we can use their kid for this one exercise, but then we wouldn't have healthy American children as the rules stipulate. Maybe we can convince the Romney it is part of a new fitness initiative. Wait, 5 year olds aren't even in school yet!

[FiTzY]

Funny ya'll should mention this. Here's a local rock "toughguy" getting his ass kicked by a 5 year old.

Well, he does have a weapon...

[JVK]

Funny ya'll should mention this. Here's a local rock "toughguy" getting his ass kicked by a 5 year old.

Well, he does have a weapon...

Cheat To Win.

[Geektastic Dave]

I disagree quite a bit here. If all the kids rush you at once, like 20 of them will probably be able to weigh someone down/ squash them.

[FiTzY]

I disagree quite a bit here.  If all the kids rush you at once, like 20 of them will probably be able to weigh someone down/ squash them.

Yeah, but how hard do you have to hit a five year old to knock them silly? My guess is you could take out several with a single blow.

This post has been edited by FiTzY: Mar 28 2005, 09:43 AM

[fil]

I'm thinking if you picked up one of the smaller ones you could swing him/her like a bat....or throw it into the crowd....

[munk]

being the proud papa of a 5 1/2 year old, who is on the taller size for his age, I have to tell you there isn't a lot of punching power there. What you SHOULD ask yourself is how many 40lb dumbbells can you throw before you're too tired to raise your arms?

[Geektastic Dave]

I disagree quite a bit here.  If all the kids rush you at once, like 20 of them will probably be able to weigh someone down/ squash them.

Yeah, but how hard do you have to hit a five year old to knock them silly? My guess is you could take out several with a single blow.

if there are 3 of them hanging from your arm it's gonna be pretty hard to throw a punch

[AK]

Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

you'd be suprised how hard it is to knock out a baby goat.

plus they have hooves.....