:( Options

[sellmememories]

There is no future in music.

Make sure you watch until the "techno breakdown", it's the best part.

[sellmememories]

And here is that video

STUPID SHIT

[whatthefuck]

All depends where yer gettin' yer fix.

[just_chris]

CRAB-CORE!

I like how the drummer prentended to play during the techno bit

[Eggplant Semen]

Is that just one guy being four guys or is it 4 guys that look kind of the same?

I think that singer dudes in Bang Camaro.

[Electric Larry]

CRAB-CORE!

looks like wikipedia deleted it - too bad, it was hilarious.

[just_chris]

looks like wikipedia deleted it - too bad, it was hilarious.

too bad... it was pretty spot-on

[Electric Larry]

too bad... it was pretty spot-on

i wish i could remember the names for dance moves. so fucking funny.

[Zack Away]

dude, I just started my own crab-core band: we all stand on 4 foot pedestals in crab-pose with our guitars resting on the ground below then we use 7 foot prosthetic arms to actually play the notes. the pedestals themselves have sideways treadmills installed so we can rapidly scuttle a-la Dr. Zoidberg in perfect unison.

[mfk]

dunno about you guys... but i'm getting SERIOUSLY sick of this auto-tune bullshit.

[Mob Hit Greg]

And here is that video

STUPID SHIT

Someone else posted this awful video recently. It is awful. What's even MORE awful is the fact that these dopes are playing to thousands probably every night, complete with broads and deli trays, when there are 30 hard-working Boston bands that would tear these boys off the stage within seconds.

Justice is lost. Still makes for good laughs though

[afinemess]

i dunno, i think these guys still take the gold in the douchebag crabcore olympics if ya ask me...

[afinemess]

looks like wikipedia deleted it - too bad, it was hilarious.

Crabcore is a contemporary offshoot from the emocore/screamo sub-genre of hard rock music.

Unlike almost all other genres and sub-genres of music, crabcore is defined not by aural motifs, tones, lyrical content, or specific instrument ensembles; but rather by physical gesticulations and contortions of the arms and legs of individual band members during live performances of their music. Sometimes, the moves are synchronized between two or more band members.


Crabcore moves

Chiefly among the crabcore musician's repertoire of stylistic gestures is the crabwalk itself, from which the genre's title is derived. The crabwalk is identified by the player's extremely low stance, wherein both feet are set apart from one another as far as possible, while still allowing the player to maintain at least a 90 degree bend in his knees. While in the crab stance, the player then purposefully transfers the weight of his upper body between each leg, achieving a swaying motion intended to have a hypnotic, nauseating and baffling effect on audience members.

Other moves available to crabcore players include:

* The "Alaskan King"
* The "Peanut Skinner"
* The "Jørgenslam"
* The "Dirty Hamper"
* The "Pestal Press"
* The "Arch Carrier"
* The "Cock Duster"
* The "Squirrel"
* The "OrBenetiko v.II"

Another somewhat controversial move has gained a foothold in crabcore circles recently, which sees the player simply standing in one spot and running in place.

The most instantly recognizable signifier of a band within the crabcore oeuvre is the presence of an Arch Cancerped (literally translated; "chief crabwalker"). The Arch Cancerped (or ACP) is an individual member of the band whose duty it is to set the speed, intensity, and depth of the crabwalk in a given piece of music. Much like the conductor of a symphony orchestra. Typically the ACP wears a black t-shirt and has a dyed-black sideways haircut.

Possibly one of the most complex crabcore maneuvers, known as the "Talladega Bench Press", consists of all guitar players (including bass) lifting their instruments behind their heads, then bringing them back down in synchronized fashioned. You will be lucky to see more than one of these per show.

Crabcore bands
Recently scholars have discovered that Crabcore stretches back thousands of years, as exemplified by this traditional Taiko drummer.

Crabcore draws unlikely influence from a plethora of blues guitarists, including Chuck Berry[1] and Bo Diddley[2]. The band Attack Attack! is currently playing crabcore, and is at its official origin.

Moscow band Shibo released an EP titled 'Crabcore' in the spring of 2009. They have a Myspace page and a Last.fm page. [3]

But, whereas this style of music has just appeared, the underground community is discovering that there have been several instances of famous bands pioneering the traditional Crabcore style years before the term was coined. The most known must be Metallica, very apparent in several live representations. See the references for an example of Metallica's Crabcore. This version of Crabcore is known as "proto-Crabcore". The increasing popularity of the genre is beginning to arise many questions among dedicated fans as to the official "root" of the genre. Credit is most often given to the aforementioned Attack Attack! mainly due to the success in their blatant exposure of the style, whereas groups credited as proto-Crabcore were much more subtle in their performances.

[Shakyfoot]

dunno about you guys... but i'm getting SERIOUSLY sick of this auto-tune bullshit.

I'm starting to feel seizures come on when I hear it. Kind of like an aural strobe light.

[Mob Hit Greg]

i dunno, i think these guys still take the gold in the douchebag crabcore olympics if ya ask me...

That's hilarious!

[swid]

I gotta agree Brokencyde are the worst. In a similar vein to the original post, though, this has also been making the rounds, and is also pretty goddamn terrible.

[TEX]

Someone else posted this awful video recently. It is awful. What's even MORE awful is the fact that these dopes are playing to thousands probably every night, complete with broads and deli trays, when there are 30 hard-working Boston bands that would tear these boys off the stage within seconds.

Justice is lost. Still makes for good laughs though

This song is one of the most funniest things I've heard/seen in a long time.

First time I watched the video I could not stop laughing.
It's pretty fucking ridiculous.

[afinemess]

I gotta agree Brokencyde are the worst..

9 OUT OF 10 MOMS AND SWIDS AGREE


http://www.mothersagainstbrokencyde.net


"This is what your children are listening to! This isn't music fit for ANYONE!"


This post has been edited by afinemess: Jul 21 2009, 09:45 AM

[Mike Qube]

9 OUT OF 10 MOMS AND SWIDS AGREE
http://www.mothersagainstbrokencyde.net
"This is what your children are listening to! This isn't music fit for ANYONE!"

Looks like some attempt by a marketing company to make the band seem badass.

[mfk]

9 OUT OF 10 MOMS AND SWIDS AGREE
http://www.mothersagainstbrokencyde.net
"This is what your children are listening to! This isn't music fit for ANYONE!"

you know... they kind of have a point here...

[Maximum Tor]

Someone else posted this awful video recently. It is awful. What's even MORE awful is the fact that these dopes are playing to thousands probably every night, complete with broads and deli trays, when there are 30 hard-working Boston bands that would tear these boys off the stage within seconds.

Justice is lost. Still makes for good laughs though

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE HARD-WORKING BOSTON BANDS?!

[Tron Ruiz]

[Mob Hit Greg]

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE HARD-WORKING BOSTON BANDS?!

Yeah, I guess I gotta work on my horse stance or CRAB-stance as it were

I knew there was a reason we aren't signed but I thought it was because we just sucked Little did I know...