Good hookup stories Options

[FrankD]

Some of you have heard this before....

(I believe this took place in 1999, I was about 22 or so) It's a Saturday afternoon and the Braves are in town to play the Sox. Greg Maddux is pitching for Atlanta. Head in with a buddy of mine, grab some grandstand tix. Literally in the last row up between home place and the 3rd base bag. Sitting infront of me is this girl. Fucking hot. Dressed like she's going to the Roxy within the half hour. Yeah, it's 1:05 in the afternoon.

Anyway, she's by herself and she's pretty outspoken in terms of her cheering for Atlanta. So of course I have to ask why she's a Braves fan. She tells me that Andruw Jones is her boyfriend. I take a moment to digest this...

You're Andruw Jones girlfriend...
You're sitting in the 2nd-to-last row in Fenway Park...
You're sitting alone, looking the way you do...
And you're Andruw Jones girlfriend...
Ok...

So a couple innings of friendly "who can cheer better for their team?" banter takes place. This is followed by several innings of "how many beers can the three of us drink before the 7th inning stretch?" By that time, I'm just hammered. So is she. During the game she was talking up Andruw Jones like he was a God. So I start lying through my teeth telling her that I went to Arizona State and I played Single A ball until I hurt my shoulder. The best thing about those lies is that there was a row of guys to the other side of me who had tried to get this girl's attention and were kind of pissed that I'd "cornered the market" if you will. So they hear me telling her this crap and they know that I'm full of shit and they're all SCREAMING at us talking about how full of shit I am. This girl just ignores it all as if to elude to the fact that, "You could've told me you were Matt Damon and I'd have believed you and still let you fuck me." Awesome (for me). Meanwhile, my buddy's sitting next to me for a good 6 innings trying not to laugh like the kid from "Back To School" when he's in class sitting next to Marge Sweetwater: "Mr. Thornton Mellon's personal secretary."

So the game's getting to be just about over and we haven't had a drink in an inning or so - my window of inebriation is closing and I need to act fast. As we get up, some lady in mommy jeans gets up and starts yelling at us - the girl in particular. "You're so obnoxious and so trashy. I just want you to know that you RUINED my day today. You're a SLUT!"

Well that set this chick off. Correction: That set this COMPLETELY SHIT-FACED chick off. She gets in mommy jeans' face. It's getting heated. Mommy Jeans PUSHES the chick, who then falls BACKWARDS down the steps at Fenway. Her tube top comes sliding down - much to the enjoyment of Mommy Jeans' two teenage boys. I am a drunken fool and I am laughing uncontrollably. The girl gets up, goes after Mommy Jeans, what does Mommy Jeans do? Yup... She pushes this chick again. This time she goes over a row of chairs. Same result: Boobs-A-Poppin' and peanut shells are everywhere.

The chick gets up, we're now at the very top of the stairs near a hot dog fixings stand. The girl grabs a handful of kraut and smashes Mommy Jeans right in the face with it. AWESOME! So the husband turns around and takes a swing at me. He misses but gets a piece of my sunglasses off my head and they shatter. I'm not interested in fighting because it will just wipe out any chance I have to bone Andruw Jones alleged girlfriend. I grab her hand and we bolt. Thankfully we did because we passed a handful of cops heading that way.

Fast-forward a bit, this girl wants to smoke some weed. No sweat. Only prob is that I don't have any on me. So we have to go get some. We're in the car and the topic of "clit rings" comes up. A favorite topic of mine, btw. So she willingly shows me her piercings. Good pre-cursor for my agenda.

Fast-forward again because the rest is not really all that great....

I got CB'd a little bit through the rest of the day and we were both sobering up. I was going to drop her off at South Station (yes, Andruw Jones' girlfriend was taking the train out of Boston) and chalk this up as a failed initiative. Then we stopped to grab another drink - well "drink" turns into "drinks and we're feeling it all over again. Next think I know, I'm parked near the taxis at South Station absolutely balling out Andruw Jones' girlfriend in the back seat of my car. Right on that little taxi cab runway. Never got busted, no one ever even honked.

And no, I do not believe this was Andruw Jones girlfriend either but fuck, it sure makes the story that much better to think she was.

I think I was at this game, we sat on the third base side under the grandstand.

[FrankD]

Is this another Coughlin story?

[sexfighter2]

Find me a stripper who doesn't have Daddy issues.

find me a GIRL who doesn't have daddy issues.


i love this thread. hilarious.

i should have good stories, i just can't remember them.

[FrankD]

there was this girl "LJ" who was my "elaine" if I were "Jerry" back in college...the no sex relationship/borderline dating?

She had hooked up and fucked two of my friends previously, and I had to work hard
to sway her away from one of the guys to spare her feelings as he was doen with her....so we met and were friends before we "dated" if you could call it dating.....more like constructive hanging out......BUT for some reason she'd hook me up with her friends.....

So we go to meet this one girl who is a bit older than us....and this girl is WILD and BEAUTIFUL and I am instantly smitten....this woman "BB" and I somehow went back to her apartment and arranged to meet LJ and our other friends tp see soem bands on landsdowne street later....

so me and BB whom I had just met that brunch, are alone in her apartment, were TOTALLY HOOKED UP liek a bolt out of the blue....she grabbed my cock from outside my pants, every now and then dancing over while she tried on different outfits.....it turns out that she was recently engaged but had called it off because her boyfriend was too posssessive....

that should ahve been a clue to just put teh moves on her and scram....but I was kind of into showing off BB in front of LJ....(it was a weird dynamic me and LJ had)....

So, after all the dick and ass grabbing and alone time with BB and making out and watching her get dressed into a VERY sexy outfit...i felt pretty special and KNEW that i was going to get laid later that night....so i was cool.....

BUT...

I think we went to teh Paradise....there was no band....and there was a 50/50 split in gay/straight attendence...it wasn't a dance night...it wasn't gay night....it might have been a normal summertime tuesday night without a band.....

So BB lieks dancing and we're already pretty drunk from drinking all day (maybe it was a holiday and we didn't have to work?)

So tehse two black gay guys start dirty dancing with BB, which i didn't mind....until she stopped paying attention to me.....It was TOO LATE...she went from kissing me every 5 minutes no matter what to I think projecting that I was her ex fiance or soemthing...it was liek a switch had been thrown....

I TRIED my best though...tried to get in on teh dirty dancing...tried talking o the gay guys, and they TOTALLY understood and manuevered her into my arms....

me and BB left, but she was furious at me, because since the gay guys were on my side (and she was obviously WAY to drunk) she had no new guys to play teh attention game with...I was feeling wacky because I looked bad in front of LJ....

But i stuck to my guns and drove BB home....she got angrier as we drove....I tried to rationalize that it was teh booze.....but she was just very mental....I felt bad for her ex fiance....

and even though we had a fun day....I felt bad that I didn't close the deal when it was in hand! I tried calling her after that.....SHE was the one who was drunk and kind of out of control, although if I had just left her dancing with the gay guys that would have been fine too.....it was liek a whole relationship in one day.

I have more "hook up with LJ's friends" stories......

[woodymq]

[coughlin]

frank, what's with spelling "the" as "teh" all the time?
is that some wacky internet trend thing i'm unaware of?
serious question.

[DanPM]

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY

[woodymq]

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY

[sellmememories]

so me and BB whom I had just met that brunch, are alone in her apartment, were TOTALLY HOOKED UP liek a bolt out of the blue....she grabbed my cock from outside my pants, every now and then dancing over while she tried on different outfits.....

Whoa whoa, why did you leave the house after this and go to the Paradise?

[sellmememories]

Whoa whoa, why did you leave the house after this and go to the Paradise?

Ah wait, I get it now. You wanted to piss off LJ?

You should have done them both at the same time.

[DanPM]

so i was outside having a smoke and this girl asked me for one, starts talking about all of her classes and such - actually she was kind of manic - then there's this awkward silence.
she says, "so - you going to the observatory tonight?"

- um, no. i have to catch a bus.

"i could probably give you a lift home."
NO ELK I DID NOT GO TO THE OBSERVATORY. I WENT HOME AND CRIED.

[FrankD]

frank, what's with spelling "the" as "teh" all the time?
is that some wacky internet trend thing i'm unaware of?
serious question.

AChick had a filtre for that.

yes it's a trend, but not by choice....just ham fisted typing that happens alot to people

[FrankD]

Ah wait, I get it now. You wanted to piss off LJ?

You should have done them both at the same time.

THAT's another story....

But I went out to teh club because after all that hand to lap action I thought for SURE I was getting some action and yeah maybe wanted LJ to get jealous.....we had a weird relationship.....