The Coolest Horror Movie Killings Ever, From MSNBC Options

[jonerik]

Let the brickbats start flying!

The coolest horror movie killings ever
Death be proud: From the ‘Saw’ films to the original ‘Frankenstein’
COMMENTARY
By Dave White
MSNBC contributor

Updated: 5:22 p.m. ET Oct 25, 2006

I like fear and suspense. Just like any movie critic. But I like blood and guts more. Your unscary horror film can go a long way toward satisfying my needs as long as it’s got a high body count and those bodies are dispensed with in a very disgusting and explicit manner. I’m a gorehound.

But I know that when I say that this is a list of the coolest horror movie killings ever, I’m inviting argument. I don’t care. Argue away. Gore is subjective and personal, anyway. One person’s really poignant brain-eating cannibal moment is another person’s meaningfully vicious disembowelment or ax in the face, you know?

So take this list for what it is, one horror fan’s favorite moments in mutilation, some bloodier and more in-your-face than others…

1. When Frankenstein’s monster throws the little girl into the pond and drowns her in “Frankenstein.” I remember seeing this movie for the first time on TV when I was very young and that scene was completely chopped out. For years I didn’t understand how the girl had died and imagined a much more mangled demise. I also wondered how you could be a kid and not run screaming from a nine-foot-tall green guy with bolts in his neck. She was a stupid kid. Anyway, only later in life did I see a restored version. But by then I was an adult and jaded by stuff like “Cannibal Holocaust.” And even though it’s completely non-explicit it’s still a great one.

2. When the alien decides to take a shortcut out of John Hurt’s body in “Alien.” He thinks it’s just indigestion from the space food, but then BAM he’s a human ziplock bag ripped open by the baby alien. And here’s the thing about this scene: it’s old now and everyone knows it. Countless gruesome deaths have taken place on-screen since this one. And every time I see it, it still shocks me, freaks me out and makes me laugh out loud, mostly because of how fast the monster makes its getaway. But also for how mind-blowingly sudden and gross it is. If there were a hall of fame for nastiness, this would be in it followed closely behind by the moment when E.G. Marshall’s body erupts with cockroaches in “Creepshow.”

3. When Jeannine Taylor takes the ax in the face, when Kevin Bacon gets stabbed in the neck through a bed, and when Betsy Palmer gets her head machete-chopped off in “Friday the 13th.” Also when the couple gets speared mid-sex in “Friday the 13th, Part 2” and when Paul Kratka gets his eyeballs popped out of his head in “Friday 13th, 3D.” I credit “Alien” and these early “F13” movies with stoking my interest in point-of-impact horror death. Subtlety and cut-aways suddenly lost their charm for me. I wanted to see the deathblow. In 3D if I could get it. And “Friday the 13th” usually delivered.

4. When Margot Kidder gets stabbed with a glass unicorn, and when Lynne Griffin is strangled, her head wrapped in a plastic bag, and her body propped up in the window of the sorority house in “Black Christmas.” They’re remaking this one and I’m not happy about it. Some people watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” every year to get them in holiday mood. I watch “Black Christmas.” I like to introduce it to new people who’ve never seen it before and then wait for them to curse me the next day because they thought they were immune to all horror movie fear, only to discover they were spooked by normal house noises all night long. Because that creaking? It could be the killer wandering around the house… just waiting.

5. When Kristy Swanson uses evil robot strength to throw a basketball at Anne Ramsay’s head, causing it to explode — the head that is, not the basketball — in the crappy but appropriately titled “Deadly Friend.” The rest of the movie sucks. But a basketball that makes a human head explode? That’s almost “Scanners”-level good. And speaking of “Scanners,” when Michael Ironside makes a guy’s head explode in that movie, it’s better than anything in “Deadly Friend,” including the basketball moment.

6. When Jaws gets that first skinny-dipping girl and the kid on the inflatable raft in “Jaws.” I think the crew called the fake shark “Bruce,” but they never named that shark on-screen, so I call him Jaws. Every living creature, mechanical or not, deserves a name. It’s a respect thing. And though the part where Jaws chomps Robert Shaw to death is great, it’s those first anonymous deaths that show less that are more dread-filled and scary.

7. When anyone dies in any of the “Saw” movies. This series really raises the bar on vividly imagined and carefully designed brutality and torture. The movies aren’t especially scary, but they bring it in the nasty killing-machine department. I’m slobbering right now to see “Saw III.” But because those jerks at LionsGate aren’t showing it to critics, I have to wait and buy a ticket like everyone else. Don’t they know that I’m different? That I would rather see that than “Babel”?

Anyway, the same goes for the “Final Destination” movies. Seriously, every single elaborately orchestrated death in this series satisfies. The plots are just whatever. Death is stalking a bunch of interchangeable kids. But the creators put their thinking caps on for the killings. Everyone talks about them being Rube Goldberg-esque. And they are — intricate and, at times, hilarious.

One of my fondest movie-going memories of the recent past involved seeing “FD2” at Los Angeles’s last remaining drive-in. And it wasn’t just the drinking that made it awesome, it was the group cheers that erupted from the collection of cars every time a new wooden teen got chopped down.

8. When Joe Pilato gets his legs torn off by zombies in “Day of The Dead.” As a sequel it’s not anywhere as cool as “Night Of The Living Dead” or “Dawn of The Dead,” but this scene wins by virtue of its victim’s defiance. As the undead drag his lower extremities away to eat, he shouts, “Choke on ‘em!” It’s the kind of presence of mind you always tell yourself you’ll have when actual zombies decide to start gnawing on you someday.

9. When Janet Leigh gets stabbed in the shower in “Psycho.” For its shocking editing alone it deserves to be here, a series of cuts so precise that it tricks you into thinking you’re seeing more murder than you really are. But it still moves me because of uniquely personal reasons. Like “Frankenstein,” I saw it when I was like eight. That was dumb.

My introduction to this movie happened to coincide with the presence of a Peeping Tom in our neighborhood. He’d stand in your backyard and watch you through your windows. Even boring stuff like dinner. It didn’t matter what you were doing. One night, my brother went to our dining room window and saw him. The guy jumped over our fence and ran into the woods behind our house. Later we found out it was one of the neighbors and they shipped him off to a mental hospital. Still, though, that’s my “Psycho” association and to this day I’m something of a nervous showerer because of it.

10. When Jennifer Jason Leigh gets torn in half by two big rig trucks moving in opposite directions in “The Hitcher.” She gets tied to them by The Hitcher, is why. And it’s really not a Jennifer Jason Leigh performance unless she suffers somehow. Someone’s always doing something horrible to her in movies. But you always think, “Wow she was great.” Even in two pieces.

Dave White is the film critic for Movies.com and the author of “Exile In Guyville.” Find him at www.imdavewhite.com.

© 2006 MSNBC Interactive

[Mister Shhh]

I watch The Final Destination movies just for the death scenes. Another great one is the first killing in Jason vs. Freddy. Jason hits the switch on the fold up bed and the kid just splits in two. You hear his spine crack as his feet touch his face.

This post has been edited by Mister Shhh: Oct 27 2006, 04:15 PM

[guest_bob]

5. When Kristy Swanson uses evil robot strength to throw a basketball at Anne Ramsay’s head, causing it to explode — the head that is, not the basketball — in the crappy but appropriately titled “Deadly Friend.” The rest of the movie sucks. But a basketball that makes a human head explode? That’s almost “Scanners”-level good. And speaking of “Scanners,” when Michael Ironside makes a guy’s head explode in that movie, it’s better than anything in “Deadly Friend,” including the basketball moment.



holy crap! I was trying to think of this movie's name the other day.

Should've included Friday the 13th IV when Jason kills Crispin Glover's character...where Glover yells 'Ted! Where's the corkscrew!?" 'cause he's trying to open some wine for his lady and then Jason stabs the corkscrew through his hand and into the counter then stabs in the neck.

[dillirgaff]

not one scene from "happy birthday to me" made it? what a crappy list

[openbar]

My favorite is when Paris Hilton gets impaled in that otherwise crappy movie "house of wax". Unfortunately, it wasn't real.

[Jason H]

My favorite is when Paris Hilton gets impaled in that otherwise crappy movie "house of wax". Unfortunately, it wasn't real.

my thoughts exactly.

[jonerik]

No love for "Phantasm?"

[J_GuestNoMore]

The pop-up alien gets my vote.

[Mister Shhh]

No love for Hellraisor either.

[La India Luba]

The one in Jason X where he sticks the girl's head into liquid nitrogen and then smashes it is pretty rad.

[dillirgaff]

The one in Jason X where he sticks the girl's head into liquid nitrogen and then smashes it is pretty rad.

stolen from V when the alien has to get the black guy out of the nitrogen tank

[Maximum Tor]

The one in Jason X where he sticks the girl's head into liquid nitrogen and then smashes it is pretty rad.

was an V and the x-files before it. the x-files was aweome when afterwards the police had to do an outline. it was just a bunch of "x"s all over the floor.

[Maximum Tor]

glad to see black christmas on this list. an underrated movie.

saw shouldn't be on it. i hate that mountain dew EXXXTREEEEME" movie.

the shower murder in psycho is one of the best ever. besides the artistry in the cinematography it turns the whole movie on its head.

[Orbitron]

glad to see black christmas on this list. an underrated movie.

saw shouldn't be on it. i hate that mountain dew EXXXTREEEEME" movie.

the shower murder in psycho is one of the best ever. besides the artistry in the cinematography it turns the whole movie on its head.

Both murder scenes in Psycho are great. The shower scene gets all the props, but the scene where the detective gets it, shot primarily from above, as the detective walks slowly up the staircase, and Norman pops out of the door like a mechanical cuckoo and stabs him the face, and the slo-mo fall backwards down the stair....masterful.

I think the decapitation by plate glass in the Omen is one of my favorites.

Lets see...some of my faves in no particular order.....
Both Psycho murders
Chestburster from Alien
Plate Glass Decapitation from the Omen
Leatherface whacking the guy w/ the hammer and then slamming the door in original Chainsaw. Hmmmm....throwing the chick onto the meathook is a close second.
Biker disemboweled while in the bloodpressure checker from Dawn of the Dead, again a close second is when hippie zombie stands up on top of a crate while the living are refueling the copter, and the top of his head gets lopped off by the blades.
Exploding head from Scanners
I always liked the scene at the end of......Tales from the Crypt? When the miserly owner of home for the blind gets his comeuppance, with the maze of razorblades.
The invisible kill on the ceiling from the Nightmare on Elm Street. Think the 1st?
I liked most of the kills in these movies, 1st 2 anyway. Very, y'know, nightmarish.
The Disintegration ray scene at beginning of original War of the Worlds.

[Castaway Carm]

Not a horror movie killer, but the real thing!!!

[RJC]

Here's Maxim's top horror movie killings of all time. Including videos of each.

http://www.maximonline.com/slideshows/vide...1&src=mx170

My favorite one is the eye.

[Slim]

I like the decapitation by pane of glass on moving truck scene in the Omen, I think it is. Pretty frigging funny.

[tenebr8]

Dario Argento has some of the coolest, most stylish killings ever in his movies.

Lucio Fulci's Zombie has a great giant-splinter-through-the-eye scence.

Gates of Hell's woman-pukes-digestive-tract-while-bleeding-from-eyes is the all-time winner in my book.

[TEX]

This is a nice list.

I'm also fond of Scanners, and the scene (and often used avatar) of the guy's head exploding during his "psychic duel" with a far stronger opponent.

Another one that stands out more in theory than actual on camera footage:

the guy in Dead Zone, who commits suicide by sticking one blade of a pair of scissors into his nose, the other in his mouth, and then slamming his head into the table, thereby shoving the scissors into his skull.

Brilliant!

[Maximum Tor]

i guess only killing humans counts or the lawnmower scene in dead alive should be in there.

nightmare 3 had some great killings. the tv set and the bit where the guy is being strung along like a puppet with his veins and then walked out the window.